Do you tell new partners before the first kiss or wait until you have an outbreak?
I have been seeing someone for about a month and I still have not brought it up, which is starting to feel like a lie by omission even though I am not having an outbreak right now. Part of me thinks most people already carry it and it is no big deal, but another part of me remembers the one time someone reacted badly and I have been avoiding the conversation ever since. How do you all handle this, do you say something early on or only when you feel one coming?
Really glad you posted this. Prevention over treatment is the shift that helped me most, and it sounds like you are already there.
I tell them before anything happens, usually just casually over coffee or a walk, and honestly the awkwardness I dreaded almost never shows up. The one time I waited and got an outbreak first, the conversation was so much harder, so now I just get it out of the way early.
I always tell them early, usually over coffee before anything physical happens, because I'd rather have one slightly awkward five minute conversation than spend months wondering if they'll feel betrayed later. Honestly most people have just shrugged and said "oh yeah, my mom gets those too."
I always tell them early, usually before things get physical, because I'd rather have one awkward five minute conversation than spend months hiding my lip every time I feel a tingle. Honestly most people have been way kinder about it than I expected, and the ones who weren't probably weren't going to be great partners anyway.
I tell them early, usually before things get physical, just a quick honest heads up that I get cold sores sometimes and I'm careful about it. Honestly the conversation has always gone way better than the anxiety in my head predicted, and it beats the awful feeling of hiding something from someone I actually like.