I was in almost the same spot two years ago, and the thing that helped most was booking a visit with my doctor to ask about testing and what a period with no outbreak actually means. Once I had real information instead of late night searching, the conversation with my partner was a lot calmer.
A lot of people carry oral HSV 1 and honestly do not think of a cold sore as something to disclose, which does not make it okay but might explain his silence. Forgiveness is your call, and it is fair to ask him to be upfront going forward, like telling you when he feels the tingle so you can skip kissing for a bit.
For the wellness side, we keep it simple at home, lip balm with spf, no sharing towels or drinks, and paying attention to sleep and stress since those seem to trigger his flare ups. Whatever you decide about the relationship, a clinic can answer the risk questions properly, so please do not rely on strangers on the internet for that part.
Oh I've been in almost this exact spot, and the thing that helped me most was realizing the hiding hurt way more than the actual virus ever did. Please have the honest conversation with him and a doctor rather than spiraling on forums like I did at 2am.
Welcome. The two things worth knowing early: it is very common, and it is far more preventable than most people realise.
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